Letter Five: Sad Dragon, No Tea

My Dear Worried Thomisina,

First let me assure you that Ludwig and I are well. Our feet are freezing and our noses cold, but we are happy enough, even without hot tea.

Now I know why Boo Hoo Castle is so gloomy, Thomisina. The castle is very big and drafty; that is, cold air comes in all the time and chills everyone's toes and noses and fingertips. There are no fires in any of the fireplaces, and everyone, even Queen Clara herself, eats cold pickles straight out of a jar for supper. She cries the whole time!

Why is Boo Hoo Castle so cold and sad? Well, dear Thomisina, it was not always this way. Once fires burned hot and cheery in every fireplace; everyone had tea three times a day and warm crumpets with raspberry jam and hot chocolate before bed. Once everyone sat in a nice warm bubblebath every night and toasted marshmallows and told stories with shining, happy faces.

Yes, once Boo Hoo Castle was the snuggest place you could imagine. People knocked at the door all day to visit and eat hot pea soup.

But not anymore. You see, Boo Hoo Castle's dragon, Esmerelda, is sad. And when Esmerelda is sad, her breath-fire dries up. She refuses to light the fires or the stove or any of the candles. For a whole year now she has sat in the corner of the castle and cried, and not blown fire once to make Boo Hoo Castle warm and snug. Why? Nobody knows. Poor Queen Clara has tried everything: good stories, foot rubbings, and special treats like chocolate cake and vanilla pudding. But nothing works.

As you may have guessed, Thomisina, Queen Clara has hired us with the hopes that we will be able to cheer Elsmerelda and bring back cozy fires to Boo Hoo Castle.

I think we will succeed, though Ludwig the Noble is so grumpy without her hot tea that I don't suppose she'll be much help. But though I am cold and pink of nose, I am noble. And I am funny, too.

So do not worry, Thomisina. Tomorrow we will jolly the downcast dragon, collect our pennies, and head back to Gumberry Castle.

I remain your confident,

Chidester the Gumberry

Letter Four

My dear nervous Thomisina,

When I last wrote to you, Ludwig the Noble Bird and I had lost all our pennies to a naughty man, sold Gumberry Castle to Lady Limabeard and her Awful Parrot, and had set out to find our fortune.

So far we have not made much progress. I mean to say, my dear Thomisina, that we have not one penny except one Ludwig found on accident in the middle of a red apple yesterday at tea time.

Nobody seems to want to hire a dashing, handsome man like Chidester the Gumberry.

Then one night, after a terrible sleep (I dreamt of Limabeard wrecking Gumberry Castle and filling my noble boots with stinky lima beans!) I awakened to find Ludwig chirping loudly in my ear.

"Go away!" I shouted (I was still dreaming of Limabeard the Awful Parrot), whereupon Ludwig the Noble gave my earlobe a little bite.

"Ouch!" I yelled, jumping to my feet. Ludwig flapped her red wings quickly about my nose until I followed her down the path and around the corner.

Before us rose a very sad castle. Though the sun had been shining brightly when I awakened, suddenly the sky was very gloomy, as if a thunderstorm might break upon us at any moment. Standing there looking at that castle, I felt like bursting into tears.

But Ludwig did not seem to be sad, and she flew over to a sign and perched on it. "Boo Hoo Castle. Help wanted," the sign said.

"Oh, no, Ludwig," I said, "This isn't the place for us. I'll bet the people who live in this castle serve nasty, warm tea and hard biscuits. No, we'll look somewhere else."

But then I gazed more closely at the sign. Underneath the "Help Wanted," the sign said, "MUST BE NOBLE!"

Well!

Who is more noble than I, Chidester the Gumberry?

Ludwig and I hurried up the path to Boo Hoo Castle. What good could we possibly do in such a gloomy place?

I hate to leave you in suspense, Thomisina, wondering what might happen to us next, but I must.

I remain your rather sad but QUITE NOBLE,

Chidester the Gumberry

Sir Chidester: Letter Three

Dear Thomisina Basilina,

At last I am able to sit down and write you a few words! Oh, Thomisina, do you remember when I was a wee lad and refused to eat my brussel sprouts?

Now I would give half of Gumberry Castle (were it still mine) to eat just one brussel sprout.

What do you think? I have spent half the day trying to coax down Ludwig the Noble from the branch of a tree.

How did this happen, you may ask.

Well, Thomisina, dear pink-cheeked nursemaid of mine, I will tell you.

Yesterday we ate our very last green gumdrop. "Alas, Ludwig my dear companion," I said, licking the sugar from my fingers. "There are no more gumdrops!"

Ludwig hung her red head and seemed sad. All day today, as we walked on our path in search of our fortune, I thought hard about what my good bird friend might eat for tea.

Suddenly, as I walked into the shade of a tall ginko tree, I cried: "Bingo!" Ludwig popped down from her place atop my hat and flapped her wings.

"By George," I said. "By Basil! I know what we'll have for tea!"

For Thomisina, I had just remembered what you taught me when I was as short as your stockings.

Birds eat worms!

And there were plenty of those about. As Ludwig prepared our tea, I pushed the toe of my noble boot underneath a rock, and then with one deft FLICK! I flipped the rock over. Underneath were a wealth of worms.

I thought Ludwig would be delighted!

But when I presented the worm on the royal Gumberry platter, she squawked at me--yes, squawked!--and flew up into a tree.

"Oh, DO come down, Ludwig!" I yelled up at her, but it was no use.

Finally I decided I would show her how delicious worms really are!

My dear Thomisina, worms are NOT delicious. Even though I pretended I was a bird, the worm was NOT delicious.

And to make matters worse, Ludwig the Noble sat up in the tree and laughed at me.

"Our tea is getting cold!" I shouted up at Ludwig, in a very un-noble way. I did not feel happy.

I did think tea time was ruined, and an adventure is no fun at all without a good cup of hot tea.

But just as I was bowing my handsome head, Ludwig remembered she was a noble bird.

She flew away for a minute--I thought perhaps she would not come back!--but then she came back.

Ah, Thomisina, the tea was still warm. And though carrots are not quite as sweet as gumdrops, Ludwig and I enjoyed the crunch! for a change.

And as you know, the most humble of food is delicious when it is eaten with a friend.

I remain your well-fed and well-dressed,

Sir Chidester the Gumberry

Sir Chidester: Letter Two

My dear Thomisina (who always smelled of peppermint sticks):

Yesterday I left you in suspense, gazing at the bad watch Mr. Charlatown made with my money. Of course you will have noticed that this watch has no hands! Who wants a watch that doesn't tell time? Truly, Thomisina, what good is it?

I was so terribly upset, thinking of the sneaky way Mr. Charlatown took all my money, that I had to stop writing immediately and stomp my noble boots into the grass. Even a noble Duke, Lord, Count, etc., has his moments of frustration, Thomisina, though I try to be as patient and gentle as possible.

I was so sad, thinking of Gumberry Castle, that I had to console myself with a scalding cup of tea. Since I lost my pennies, I have started making dandelion tea, which after all is not so bad. The trick is to pick the dandelions before they get white and fluffy. Chop them small, add boiling water--and presto! Ludwig the Noble Bird refuses to drink anything but Earl Grey, but she will come around. I hope. She is still rather upset about how I lost all our money to that naughty Mr. Charlatown.

But where were we?

Ah, yes. I had lost every last cent. Lady Limabeard bought Gumberry Castle, and I packed my royal suitcase.

The Royal Gumberry Cat refused to come with me. She meowed loudly when I invited her to come on my adventures. She is a lazy cat.

I wanted to take along some Gumberry biscuits for a picnic, but Mr. Charlatown had eaten every last one!

So here is what I took with me:

My royal Sir Chidester teacup, of course.

A picture of dear Gumberry Castle, to remind me that I must find my fortune so I can one day return.

I took along my spiffy suitcase, packed with an extra set of clothes in case it rains while we are adventuring. And of course accompanying me was my faithful friend, Ludwig the Noble.

I shed many tears as I stepped down the stairs of Gumberry Castle.

So long! Adieu! I called. Hasta la vista! Kwaheri! Toodle-pip!

At first I didn't know where to go, but Ludwig chirped in a southeasterly direction, so we followed the path in that direction.

What will we find? Who will we meet? How will we earn enough pennies so we can buy back Gumberry Castle?

And what in the world will we eat for our teatime now that all the gumdrops are gone?

But for the present I remain your handsome and adventurous,



Sir Chidester the Gumberry

P.S. Dear Thomisina Basilina, I am enclosing a small token of my love for you: a picture of myself and Ludwig when we first embarked on our adventures. I hope, when you see it, you will utter good wishes for your handsome Chidester. Adieu for now!

Sir Chidester: The First Letter

Stop worrying, my dear fragile nursemaid! Your sweet, handsome Chidester is alive!

Yes, I Chidester the Gumberry am alive, good Thomisina. Alive, but sad. Breathing, but bereft, for I have lost the strong towers of Gumberry Castle.
How can a person lose a castle? Well, I have not lost it through a hole in my pocket, nor have I dropped it in a corner, like an apple core. Chidester the Gumberry never has holes in his pockets! Chidester the Gumberry always eats his apple cores!

I feel very, very sad, Thomisina, when I think of Lady Limabeard living in the large, damp rooms of Gumberry Castle.

Here is how I lost my home.


I have a good friend, Mr. Charlatown. Mr. Charlatown and I play games every evening together, or at least we used to. Often we played Twister or Gumberry Land together, and no matter how hard I tried, Mr. Charlatown always won!

As you said, dear Thomisina, NEVER TRUST A MAN WHO WEARS BANANAS ON HIS HAT!

If only I had listened to you, my dear, plump nursemaid!

One night, after he had won the fifth game of Gumberry Land in a row, Mr. Charlatown sat back in his chair and said,

Chidester, old boy!

SIR Chidester to you! I said. I was feeling rather grumpy about losing for the 1,002nd time.

SIR Chidester, old boy! Mr. Charlatown started again. (Mr. Charlatown has a very LOUD voice!) I have a great business venture for you!

~

(At this point, Ludwig the noble bird began beating her wings around Mr. Charlatown's odd hat. I thought she wanted to eat his bananas, so I said, "Ludwig! Behave!" She settled on my top hat, but not before she glared at Mr. Charlatown.)

~

I noticed Mr. Charlatown was eating all of the Royal Gumberry biscuits out of the jar. But you, dear Thomisina Basilina, always told me that I should never complain, and so I watched quietly as Mr. Charlatown stuffed his great red face with my delicious Gumberry biscuits.

~

What is a great business venture? Well, dear Thomisina, what Mr. Charlatown meant was that he should make something useless and use my all my money to make it. Of course I didn't know he meant to STEAL all my money. I have always been a trusting sort of chap, since I am noble.

~

Ludwig the noble bird tried to warn me, Thomisina! Ludwig the Noble flew onto my shoulder and peeped loudly. He was trying to warn me. But I thought Ludwig was just after Mr. Charlatown's bananas, and so I shooed her away!

I should have listened to Ludwig! But I only know that now.

So Mr. Charlatown took all my money--every last penny! And he ate every last Gumberry biscuit!

Then the next week Mr. Charlatown came back with something in his pocket.

LOOK AT THIS, he said, and he was so excited to show me what was in his pocket that one of his bananas fell to the floor and split open. Ludwig did not eat the banana like I thought she would. And then I realized--Ludwig wasn't interested in

bananas!

Ludwig was interested in being my friend! And I hadn't listened to her when she tried to warn me. Suddenly,

I knew I was in trouble.

And when Mr. Charlatown showed me what was in his pocket--what he had used all my money for--I KNEW I was in trouble.

Oh, dear, Thomisina. Here is what Mr. Charlatown spent every last Gumberry penny on.

"We'll sell millions of them, Chidester old chap!" he said.

"SIR Chidester the GUMBERRY to you," I said. In Mr. Charlatown's hand was a watch. And it was a handsome watch. But I knew right away we would never sell millions, and I knew right away I was in trouble.

Can you tell why, Thomisina?

Look closely with your old eyes, and then you will know why I felt so awful.

I knew I would not be able to keep Gumberry Castle. I was all out of pennies, and my noble piggy bank was empty.

What would I do?

I will tell you in my next letter.

But for now I remain truly your sweet and handsome

Chidester the Gumberry