Sir Chidester: The First Letter

Stop worrying, my dear fragile nursemaid! Your sweet, handsome Chidester is alive!

Yes, I Chidester the Gumberry am alive, good Thomisina. Alive, but sad. Breathing, but bereft, for I have lost the strong towers of Gumberry Castle.
How can a person lose a castle? Well, I have not lost it through a hole in my pocket, nor have I dropped it in a corner, like an apple core. Chidester the Gumberry never has holes in his pockets! Chidester the Gumberry always eats his apple cores!

I feel very, very sad, Thomisina, when I think of Lady Limabeard living in the large, damp rooms of Gumberry Castle.

Here is how I lost my home.


I have a good friend, Mr. Charlatown. Mr. Charlatown and I play games every evening together, or at least we used to. Often we played Twister or Gumberry Land together, and no matter how hard I tried, Mr. Charlatown always won!

As you said, dear Thomisina, NEVER TRUST A MAN WHO WEARS BANANAS ON HIS HAT!

If only I had listened to you, my dear, plump nursemaid!

One night, after he had won the fifth game of Gumberry Land in a row, Mr. Charlatown sat back in his chair and said,

Chidester, old boy!

SIR Chidester to you! I said. I was feeling rather grumpy about losing for the 1,002nd time.

SIR Chidester, old boy! Mr. Charlatown started again. (Mr. Charlatown has a very LOUD voice!) I have a great business venture for you!

~

(At this point, Ludwig the noble bird began beating her wings around Mr. Charlatown's odd hat. I thought she wanted to eat his bananas, so I said, "Ludwig! Behave!" She settled on my top hat, but not before she glared at Mr. Charlatown.)

~

I noticed Mr. Charlatown was eating all of the Royal Gumberry biscuits out of the jar. But you, dear Thomisina Basilina, always told me that I should never complain, and so I watched quietly as Mr. Charlatown stuffed his great red face with my delicious Gumberry biscuits.

~

What is a great business venture? Well, dear Thomisina, what Mr. Charlatown meant was that he should make something useless and use my all my money to make it. Of course I didn't know he meant to STEAL all my money. I have always been a trusting sort of chap, since I am noble.

~

Ludwig the noble bird tried to warn me, Thomisina! Ludwig the Noble flew onto my shoulder and peeped loudly. He was trying to warn me. But I thought Ludwig was just after Mr. Charlatown's bananas, and so I shooed her away!

I should have listened to Ludwig! But I only know that now.

So Mr. Charlatown took all my money--every last penny! And he ate every last Gumberry biscuit!

Then the next week Mr. Charlatown came back with something in his pocket.

LOOK AT THIS, he said, and he was so excited to show me what was in his pocket that one of his bananas fell to the floor and split open. Ludwig did not eat the banana like I thought she would. And then I realized--Ludwig wasn't interested in

bananas!

Ludwig was interested in being my friend! And I hadn't listened to her when she tried to warn me. Suddenly,

I knew I was in trouble.

And when Mr. Charlatown showed me what was in his pocket--what he had used all my money for--I KNEW I was in trouble.

Oh, dear, Thomisina. Here is what Mr. Charlatown spent every last Gumberry penny on.

"We'll sell millions of them, Chidester old chap!" he said.

"SIR Chidester the GUMBERRY to you," I said. In Mr. Charlatown's hand was a watch. And it was a handsome watch. But I knew right away we would never sell millions, and I knew right away I was in trouble.

Can you tell why, Thomisina?

Look closely with your old eyes, and then you will know why I felt so awful.

I knew I would not be able to keep Gumberry Castle. I was all out of pennies, and my noble piggy bank was empty.

What would I do?

I will tell you in my next letter.

But for now I remain truly your sweet and handsome

Chidester the Gumberry