Thursday, April 19, 2007

Query: Lady Limabeard

Dear Sir Chidester,

Does Lady Limabeard have a beard? Is she nice? Will she keep Gumberry Castle clean and pretty? I hope you find some pennies soon.


_____________________

My superb Lady J,

As usual, a pertinent question! ("Pertinent" means just the right one! Spot on!)

I cannot complain about the lovely Lady Limabeard herself. To all my jokes (and I, Chidester the Gumberry, always tell funny jokes), she laughs like this: Ah, ha, ha, ha, ha! In a very pleasant way, as you can see.

In fact, since I had to leave Gumberry Castle, Lady Limabeard would have been the perfect person to take care of its aged and beautiful towers.

But there is one terrible thing about the dear Lady. This one terrible thing makes me very worried about Gumberry Castle.

~
My dear Lady J, I am a neat person. Like you, I like my floor clean, my toys put away, and I line up my 595 shoes in a perfect row.

Lady Limabeard herself is tidy, too. She always washes her hands before meals and she always wipes her chin after she eats mashed potatoes.

And no, she does not have a beard, and in fact she hates lima beans (can you imagine? I adore lima beans, almost as much as I love macaroons).

Lady Limabeard owns a terrible, messy, grumpy, absolutely AWFUL parrot. This parrot is very old, and it is he who has a beard! Limabeard the Nasty Parrot once belonged to Lady Limabeard's Great, great, great, great, great, great, Greatgrandmother about 500 years ago.

Perhaps Limabeard the Parrot was not always messy, but with every birthday he becomes grumpier and grumpier. Every candle added to his green birthday cake just adds to his bad temper and sloppiness.



Limabeard the Parrot loves lima beans, and these he eats for breakfast, lunch, tea, and supper. Lady Limabeard must feed him lima beans exactly on time, or he becomes quite crotchety and beats his wings hard, knocking vases, books, and dishes to the floor.

What a mess! Limabeard the Parrot made such a mess in Lady Limabeard's castle that she moved out and bought mine instead. O, dear, dear, me. I become nervous just thinking about that grouchy bird in my home! I fear that Limabeard the Parrot may wreck my dear, sparkling Gumberry Castle.

You see why I must hurry to find more pennies! Ludwig and I must return to Gumberry Castle as soon as we can--before the Castle is in such a tiff it will never be clean again!


Thank you for your well wishes, dear Lady J. I do hope your day is splendid, filled with sunshine, lots of tulips, and a nice hot bath.

Now I must find something to feed poor Ludwig the Noble for morning tea. The poor fellow does miss his green gumdrops!

I am as always your true admirer,

Sir Chidester the Gumberry

PS. What do you think? Does Ludwig the Noble like Limabeard the Parrot?

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